Judging Character

Judging Character Posted: 04 Nov 2009 06:22 PM PST “Lord Krishna has made a firm promise for all time. If one renders service unto Him, Krishna correspondingly gives him an equal amount of success in devotional service to the Lord.” (Chaitanya Charitamrita, Madhya 8.90) A person’s character can be ascertained based on their behavior and personal characteristics. By analyzing how a person acts towards us and towards others in all types of situations, we can get a better handle on their true nature. Sometimes it’s difficult to get a read on someone else’s nature. The stereotypical used car salesman presents the biggest challenge. Selling cars is a cut-throat business, with profit margins hinging on the final sale price of the automobiles. The selling price is usually determined through negotiations between the dealership and the customer. Used cars are even harder to sell than new ones. They usually don’t come with any factor warranty, so caveat emptor is the motto that customers go by. “Let the buyer beware for this car may not be all it’s cracked up to be.” Since used cars are tougher to sell, a highly skilled salesperson is required to get them off the lots. Because of this, people that sell used cars tend to be expert at duplicity, deceit, and outright lying. This type of personality is good for selling cars, but not so good when it comes to making friends or maintaining long term relationships. Similar types of people also exist outside the realm of selling cars. This makes it tougher for us to judge someone’s character, since anyone can be nice to our face, but words alone don’t convey sincerity. The most effective way to judge someone’s character and also at the same time judge how they feel about us, is to use comparison. If we compare how someone treats us versus how they treat others, we will have a pretty good idea as to what kind of person they are. If someone seems overly friendly to us, but then is mean and rude towards others, we can understand that their kindness towards us probably isn’t sincere. The opposite holds true as well. One who is kind towards all is recognized as a saintly and learned person, pandita sama-darshinah. This comparison technique can also be applied in relationships, and in fact it is already employed by many wives towards their husbands. In any close relationship, especially of the romantic variety, each party is always wondering whether the other person loves them or not. The best way to gauge someone’s love for us is to see how they behave towards others. For example, many wives get upset because their husbands show preferential treatment towards their other friends or towards hobbies such as golf and video games. Husbands also get upset if they see their wives talking or laughing with other friends, especially if those friends happen to be male. A wife wants to feel like she is the most special person in her husband’s life and the same holds true for the husband. A person wants and expects preferential treatment from their spouse since they give all of their love to their significant other.